Wednesday, October 20, 2010

excess baggage, anyone?

I’m sure nong mga bata tayo lahat tayo naka-experience na umiyak or mag-alburoto dahil pinangakuan tayo ng isang kendi or isang laruan tapos hindi binigay sa atin. As far as I can remember, meron akong experience na ganon although hindi ako umiyak at nagwala. Pero matinding dabog ang ginawa ko noon sabay simangot na halos maka-mukha ko na si Donald Duck sa haba ng nguso ko.

As kids, that was how we handled the feeling na hindi pa natin alam kung ano ang tawag. Basta ang alam lang natin, somebody reneged on their promise, tricked us o kaya, pinag-tripan lang tayo ng matatanda kaya hindi nangyari ang inaasahan natin. Didn’t get what we wanted. Ngayon lang malaki na tayo natin nalaman na disappointment pala ang tawag sa feeling na yon.

Just recently, something happened at work that caused disappointment not only for me but for most of my friends as well. Hindi ko na ide-detalye dito kung ano yon, I still believe in ethical blogging kaya pag-pasensyahan nyo na.

What I can share though is the fact that we felt hugely disappointed. Dahil hindi nangyari ang ine-expect namin. At may naririnig pang kung ano-anong kwento that only worsens the feeling.  Ito yong kwentong sisigaw ka ng ‘that’s unfair’ sabay hagis ng kung anoman ang mahawakan mo. Buti kung may director na sisigaw ng ‘cut’.

Nakakatawa nga kasi one of my friends sent a pic of a cat na cute na cute pero galit na galit habang hawak ang isang baril ala Rambo. Natawa ako don sa pic but the truth is, it totally captured the sentiment of the moment. Ah well, eksads lang yon, hindi naman kami hahawak ng baril and hurt anybody. Pero ito yong mga sitwasyon na kung sa Pinas lang nangyari, siguradong malaki ang kikitain ng Gerry’s Grill sa amin dahil marami-raming case ng beer ang maiinom ng grupo habang nag-e-emo.

Behavioral experts say disappointment comes from unmet expectations. Para daw walang disappointment, wag mag-expect. Hindi naman ako agree don. Para sa akin, people who don’t expect things to happen in their lives don’t have much of a dream. Coz dreams, aspirations and expectations are almost family. Pag may dreams ka, may plano ka, may pinupuntirya ka, may goal ka, you certainly would have expectations. Kung wala, then you probably have to reassess your life.

Eniweys, kung noong bata pa tayo, madali nating makalimutan ang mga disappointment natin, it’s a different story now that we’re older. We deal with disappointment depending upon it's severity.  Some will cry a river. Some will vent their frustration on something. Kung matindi yong disappointment, ang mahina-hina nag-a-amuck. Worse, iinom ng silver cleaner.

But that's on the extreme. Hindi naman ganon ka-grabe ang sitwasyon namin. We can still joke about it and laugh it off. At wala pa naman kaming balak mag-tayo ng Ampalaya Anonymous Saudi Chapter. In fact, after two days of sulking, we’re all in agreement that it’s time to move on.

Pano daw ba mag-move on sabi ng isang friend ko. Madali lang sabi ko. Take a step forward. Not backward. Ang daling sabihin pero sa totoo lang, pag masakit, mahirap humakbang forward. That is why some people find it difficult to move on.

Fortunately, I’m one who can kick frustrations out of my system easily. Maybe because I’m overly pragmatic. Pag tapos na, nangyari na, wala na akong reason to hold on to it. I’ll learn whatever lesson the situation offers but I’ll leave it right where it should be. I’ll feel the pain syempre dahil hindi naman ako bato. At halos malagas din ang ipen ko the last two days from clenching it out of frustration.  Pero hanggang don na lang yon. Hindi ko na siya dinadala as I move along.

Sabi nga ng mga kabataan ngayon, iwas nega na lang tayo. Coz I believe they are baggage that we don’t need kung gusto nating bumilis ang takbo natin sa karera ng buhay. Kung wala tayong dala-dalang ganito, we can think clearer, run faster and probably find something else much better.

Disappointment.  Frustration.  Discontent.  Things that you shouldn't be holding in your hands for you will be tying them down instead of doing better things.  Hindi mo rin dapat itanim sa utak mo dahil parang nasa recycle bin yan ng computer mo. Junk and useless yet kumakain pa rin ng memory.  At lalong hindi dapat ilagay sa puso.  Coz it would sure cloud your vision.  There's only one thing to do sa mga ganitong negative feelings.  Purge it.  And moving on will be easier.

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