the old, the young and the grumpiness

When I was young I can still remember I had this propensity to get involved with older people’s conversations.  Elementary pa lang ako noon pero fascinated na akong making sa bangkaan ng matatanda.  And there are times na ako mismo bumabangka sa kanila.  Yong tipong lumelebel ako (or at least I was trying hahaha) sa mga sinasabi ng mga kausap ko at hindi ako nagpapa-cute just because I was a kid.  

I didn’t know it then pero later ko na na-realize na yong mga conversation na yon ang dahilan kung bakit advanced ang perspective ko sa buhay.  I’d call it accelerated maturity dahil habang abala sa trumpo at lastiko ang mga ka-edad ko, I was already busy dreaming of and planning on what I want to be later in life. 

That was then.  Ngayon na matanda na ako (no shame in admitting so hahaha), biglang nabaliktad ang sitwasyon.  Kung dati madalas matatanda ang kausap ko noon, ngayon I had to deal with individuals half my age on a daily basis.  And boy was it a challenge! Hahaha.

Pina-rent ko kasi ang ground floor ng aking kubo.  Just to have some source of income dahil nga nag-retire na ako sa pagkita ng dolyares sa Saudi.  At alam nyo naman pag nasa Pinas ka, whatever you saved flies out of the window kung wala kang kita.  

So instead of letting the space rot, ang sosyal naman ng mga ipis at multo kung gagawin lang nilang hang-out yong bahay di ba, pina-rent ko na lang sya.  Not as a whole unit but what is popularly known as “boarding house”.  Per head ang bayad.  

At sino pa ba naman ang magiging clients ko kungdi ang mga kabataang nag-uumpisa pa lang maghanap ng kapalaran nila sa buhay.  Most of them working at a nearby mall na siguradong napuntahan mo na kung nakarating ka na ng Enchanted Kingdom.

As of now, out of the 13 (ominous?) ‘boarders’ I have, tatlo lang ang born on the late 80’s and the rest puro 90’s na.  Which means that the oldest mind I’m dealing with is somewhere in the late 20’s – 29, 26 and 28.  But at the lower end of the spectrum are these boys and girls who just got out of their teen years. Mga Totoy at Nene pa (coed po dine kasi they come in groups!).

At first, nahirapan ako.  Kasi para akong principal,  security guard at warden all rolled into one. 

Number one rule ko kasi is no unnecessary noise lalo sa gabi.  My neighbors are silent souls and I didn’t want to offend them. Kaya bawal na bawal ang ingay sa gabi.  Na syempre, sa mga kabataan ay mahirap gawin.  We all know it’s the age where loud music, boisterous laughter, near-shout conversations and horseplay is normal.

Kaya maraming beses akong nanita, tumalak at nag-sermon.  Sanay kasi akong mag-isa at ang naririnig ko lang ay ang ingay na ginagawa ko.  Tapos biglang inatake ako ng isang batalyong ingay.  So you can just imagine the shock my system is going through nong mga panahon na yon. And I thought of quitting at paalisin na lang silang lahat para bumalik ang katahimikan sa aking buhay.  

But the need to earn won the battle.  Kailangang kumita or else nganga.  Kaya habang sine-sermonan ko ang aking mga ‘boarder’, I was doing adjustments within myself na rin. I realized na more than the neighbors, it is my peace na talagang concern ko at ang private space ko na na-invade ng mga aliens.

In short, na-resolve ang issue tungkol sa ingay.  I won of course because that’s my rule.  Napilitan ang mga bata na magpakabait matapos kong i-kick out ang pinaka-pasaway.  But the win is not because I kept them zipped up.  But from the fact that they now appreciate how relaxing it is kung walang unnecessary noise.  

Ngayon maaga silang natutulog kaya energized silang papasok sa trabaho.  Walang nale-late, walang umaabsent dahil walang ingay na umiistorbo sa pagpapahinga/pagtulog nila.  Hmmm…  I should be demanding some compensation from their bosses! Hahaha.

But of course hindi doon nagtatapos ang drama.  Araw-araw iba-ibang issue ang kailangan kong harapin.  All of them involve a lot of talking, discussing and persuading their young minds para magkasundo kami tungkol sa kung ano ang kanilang right versus previliges na akala nila ay right din nila dahil nagbabayad lang sila ng renta.

And speaking of renta, syempre nandyan yong late magbayad.  Mahaba-habang usapan yan dahil hindi naman charity house ang pinapatakbo ko.  Buti na lang natural ang compassion ko sa mga taong nagigipit kaya in the end, promises lang ok na.  Damn, I will never be good in business hahaha! Yon nga lang, I only allow one promise.  Pag hindi, aapoy na ang tenga ng dragon! Hahaha… 

Andyan din yong iba pang issues like receiving visitors to group conflicts tungkol sa paglilinis at pati na ang pagtitipid ng ilaw/tubig.  I have house rules posted conspicuously at the main door pero syempre that’s not enough dahil may ilang pasaway na kailangan pang i-explain in minute details kung ano ang pwede at hindi, kung bakit pwede at bakit hindi. General rules just don’t work with kids.  You have to be specific.

Sometimes madali lang ang usapan.  Sometimes it takes a whole lot more than psychology 101 to get my message across.  Most of the time, hinuhukay ko sa aking baul ang kakaunting pasensyang naitatabi ko sa aking kaban ng virtues.

But despite all these, I think I’m gaining something.  Kung noong bata pa ako, nakakuha ako ng ideas that prepared me for my older days, ngayon may natututunan pa rin ako kahit paano sa pakikisalamuha sa mga batang ito.  

First is to loosen up a bit.  Na-realize ko kasi how much I’ve missed the joy of a hearty laughter. I realized that being alone is cool but I’m missing out on laughing dahil delikado namang magtatawa akong mag-isa di ba. And staring at the tv for days on end brought to me the edge of being grumpy.  

At itong mga batang ito, they have this pure crisp of laughter na hindi pa nama-mangle ng mga problema ng buhay.  That is why I’m making it a point to share light moments with them every now and then.  Simpleng kwentuhan lang, inane conversations, jokes na kahit hindi ko minsan masakyan, still makes me smile and let out a happy laughter.  Tama nga yong sabi ng iba, spend some time with the youth.  Nakakabata.  Hahaha.

Another thing – and I think the most important – is that I’m making progress on my patience which has been the weakest link of what I thought was a strong character.  For the longest time, having a respectable amount of patience inside my system was a work in progress.  And now, I know I’m gaining ground.  Nako-control ko na yong mga sudden spike of my already high blood pressure.  Kaya ngayon,  generally OK na ang relasyon ko with my young tenants.

In short, the divide between us is now slowly becoming blurry.  Because I’m beginning to shed off my haughty ‘been there done that’ attitude when I’m talking to these young minds.  Na-realize ko na maling mag-expect na maiintindihan nila ang ideang sinasabi ko when I’m using the language of an aged person.  Dapat bagets din ang lengwahe.  At minsan pati attitude. Because that is the only level they can cope with at this time of their lives.    

Kaya mas nag-oopen na rin ang mga batang ito sa akin, making it easier to access their minds  and in effect, improving the communication line between us. Kaso, nang na-open na ang communication line,  may ibang sitwasyon na lumabas.  But that is worth another long post kaya hindi ko na isasama dito. Next time na lang na sipagin ako.

Going back to what I’m saying, naisip ko lang … Funny but come to think of it, ako rin talaga ay isang malaking pasaway.  When I was young and had the chance to be young, nagmadali ako and made myself old.  In the process, I missed out on some of the joys of being young.  Ngayon na matanda na ako, saka ko pa na-appreciate how it is to be young, feel young and think young.  

So less grumpy na ako these days.  Thanks to my ‘boarders’ I’m enjoying what I’ve missed for so long. And I think I’ve spent so much time writing this blog kaya I have to go na.  Maniningil pa ako ng renta for March! Hahaha….