of faith and believing

My mom has been ill for a few days now. Konting lagnat, may sipon at konting ubo. At her age, madali nang manghina ang katawan nya kahit ganon ka-mild ang sakit nya. That’s why I was monitoring her condition everyday through phone calls.

On the third day that she’s bedridden, sabi ko sa Ate ko, dalhin na sya sa hospital. I believe in doctors kasi. Kaya gusto kong matingnan ng doctor yong sakit nya at mapa-lagyan ng dextrose para mawala ang panghihina ng katawan. Unfortunately, my mother doesn’t believe in them. Unless it’s something serious, she wouldn’t go anywhere near a doctor, much more a hospital.

Instead, she’s a firm believer of faith healing. Mas naniniwala sya sa albularyo, sa tawas, tapal-tapal at kung ano-ano pa. That is why her meaning of ‘manggagamot’ is not a doctor. But a faith healer instead.

Sad to say, hindi lang sya ang ganon sa pamilya namin. Most of my brothers and sisters cling to this belief. Not only believe in it, but practice it themselves.

My eldest sister Elvira was the first to dabble in faith healing. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagsimula but as far back as I can remember, nanggagamot na sya ng may sakit using the tawas system. She also has fortune telling on the side. She ‘reads’ people’s lives – past, present and future using a deck of poker cards.

Pati ako, ilang beses na niyang hinulaan. I must admit that some of the things she said are quite impressive. Nakaka-bull’s-eye minsan. But not all the time of course. At kahit hindi ako naniniwala sa hula, kapag sinabi nyang umupo ako at huhulaan nya ako, hindi ako makatanggi. It’s not that I believe the hula. But it’s more on avoiding the insult I might cause if I blatantly reject her ‘talent’ in which she (and the rest of the family) believe in. But that’s another story.

Then another sister of mine, Emmie, got into faith healing as well. Kinarir din ang pang-gagamot. And she had a more stellar career than Ate Elvira. Sabi nila, mas may ‘third eye’ si Ate Emmie that’s why she seem to have a stronger healing power. If I’m not mistaken, the power daw comes from the Sto Nino. Sikat sya sa bayan nila sa Angat (Bulacan). May mga dumadayo pa sa kanya from far away places. Meron pa raw isang artista from Manila na pinupuntahan sya para magpa-hilot at magpa-hula din. But her most important client is my mother. Sya ang laging tinatawag ng Nanay ko whenever she’s sick.

Last November, Ate Emmie had to leave her ‘career’ dahil kinuha sya ng anak nya sa Japan. But before leaving her ‘practice’, she saw to it that her clientele will never be lost without her. Tinuruan nya ang isang Kuya ko. At ngayon, si Kuya na ang ‘doktor’ ng gamutan sa Angat.

Yesterday, pinuntahan ni Kuya si mother dear. And presto, after the three days na masakit ang ganito at ganyan, nanghihina at hindi makakain, nang matawas ni Kuya, magaling na si Madir. At 4pm today, nag-text ang Ate Vangie ko (kasama ni mother sa bahay) telling me that Nanay is already up and about. Magaling na, nag-bingo na at marami nang nakakain.

Of course I’m happy to hear that. But there’s this feeling of disappointment na nadagdagan na naman ang pogi-points ng tawas while bawas-ganda points na naman ang doctor sa nangyari. Everytime she feels she was cured by that piece of tawas, she’s veering farther away from a doctor’s office. And that’s what worries me.

But how can I argue with her faith, with what she believes and what she feels. Ano mang sabihin ko, however I explain science and medicine to her, how would I change that fact that she feels well without having to face a doctor and swallowing a pill embossed with the name Pfizer?

Faith healing daw is the poor man’s only cure. Pag mahirap ka nga naman, wala kang perang pang-bayad sa doctor. But in my mother’s case it’s not the money anymore. It’s her faith. It’s what she believes in. And darn, that’s one thing hard to argue with.