no. 7: pangit!!!

i have several physical imperfections. things that normally bother vain people. things that hardcore metrosexuals would find reason enough to scamper to the nearest derm clinic or beauty spa. sa akin, wala lang. keber ko. konti lang ang banidad sa katawan ko. and for that, pasalamat ako.

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maitim ako by standards ng mga pinoy ngayon na naloloko sa mga skin-whitening pills. o di ba at ilang high-profile lawsuits sa pinas ang nag-umpisa sa whitening pills, the latest one involving korina. marami kasi sa atin ang gustong-gustong maging puti kahit fake lang. hello magic creme victims - wag mag-deny! sa akin, i don't mind. magpapahid ako ng lotion or moisturizers or even fair and lovely para lang hindi nakakahiya ang mukha kong may pagka-burog din (i can hear raoul laughing! hehehehe). pero i don't think i'd go to the lengths of taking glutathione. parang takot ako sa epekto non sa katawan ko.

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may ilang diyes at bente-singko ang payat kong binti. pero wala akong keber. siguro pag yumaman ako, kakaririn ko ang magpa-tanggal ng mga peklat. pero as of now, wala akong paki. nako-conscious ako minsan pag nagso-shorts. pero never did it affect me deeply, much less my self esteem.

i have one more pangit in my body. pero ito, hindi talaga ako na-bother kahit kailan. in fact, nag-enjoy pa ako in several instances. nakakatawa kasi ang reaction ng mga tao and pseudo-palm readers sa pangit kong palad. sa pangit nya, marami na akong pinasakit na ulo ng mga manghuhula!

ang sabi ng karamihan na 'bumasa' sa palad ko, magulo ang buhay ko dahil daw sa dami ng nga guhit na nagsala-salabat sa palad ko. eh doon pa lang, bagsak na sila. bakit? eh ang pagkaka-alam ko, matino ang buhay ko. tahimik akong nagta-trabaho at namumuhay as one responsible, productive member of the society. never did i commit any crime nor was involved in any illegal activities. kaya don pa lang, hindi na ako naniniwala sa mga palm readers. my life is my choice. kaya walang epekto sa akin magulo man ang palad ko.

second thing na madalas kong marinig sa mga palm readers, marami raw akong magiging asawa. bilangin ba naman yong mga guhit sa gilid ng palm ko. yon daw ang number ng mga magiging ka-relasyon ko. eh di bagsak na naman! eh ni hindi pa nga ako nakaka-isa. pero kung bibilangin ang mga illicit love affairs, pwede. marami na nga. hahahaha!!! jowk lang po!!!

another thing na naririnig ko sa mga manghuhula eh hindi raw ako yayaman. dahil yon daw little finger ko ay hindi umabot sa upper line nong ring finger ko. eto talagang totoo. pero siguro kahit hindi na ito ihula sa akin, alam ko na at tanggap ko na hindi ako yayaman kahit kailan. kasi, yayaman lang ako kung magpapaka-selfish ako. and turn a blind eye on things goin on in my family. pero hindi ko yata yon kaya. kaya hindi talaga ako yayaman.

kaya pag may nakakapansin sa palad kong magulo at mag-aattempt na basahin, sorry na lang kayo. sasakit lang ang ulo nyo. tingnan nyo na lang ang pix.... o, dare???

darn counter

well i had to re-install a new site counter coz the one i previously got just went kaput for reasons i don't know. right before it went awol, i know my hits are already nearing the 4,000 mark. so i just had to start this one with that number, give or take a couple hundred of hits in between. hope this one's a keeper though.

mano po ninong

another retro pic.... nostalgic trip lang baga.

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yong naka-checkered polo si Tatay. kahit po matagal na syang nawala sa mundo (1995), hinding-hindi nawawala sa puso at isip ko ang aking mahal na ama.

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best friend nya ang ninong ko, si Rodrigo Godoy (ondoy, godoy... kaya siguro nagkasundo sila... hahahaha!). ako syempre yong naka-cowboy hat at yong katabi ko naman ay si atid (kinakapatid) na Francis na ang liit-liit sa pic namin pero last time na makita ko sya nong late 90's eh dambuhala na. imagine, pareho ng style ang mga tatay namin dahil pareho kami ni atid Francis na only child! sila yata ang mga unang advocates ng family planning... hehehehe

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halos hindi ko na matandaan si ninong kasi bata pa ako nang magkahiwalay sila ng ninang Sancha ko at umalis sa aming bayan sa Mindoro. sabi ng Tatay ko noon, nagpunta raw ng Puerto Princessa (Palawan) si Ninong. for a while ay nagsusulatan ang mag-kumpare at natatandaan ko pa na nabasa ko ang sulat ni Ninong. nakapag-asawa na raw siya at may sariling pamilya na sa Puerto Princessa.

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yon ang last na balita ko sa kanya. until now, hindi ko alam kung buhay pa sya at kung ano na ang nangyari sa kanya. sana naman nasa mabuti syang kalagayan. if not, baka nagkita na sila ni Tatay at pareho na silang mga pasaway kay San Pedro! hahahaha...

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Ninong - nasaan ka man, hindi ako nagagalit sa yo kahit hindi ako nakaranas makapamasko sa iyo eversince! maganda nga yon, hindi ako natutong manghingi o mag-expect ng kahit ano pag pasko. at kung buhay ka pa, sana magkita tayo. ikaw ang papapaskuhan ko. pero kung milyonaryo ka naman, aba mahabang kwentahan ang aabutin mo!!!

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kwentong barbero

I finally got a haircut yesterday matapos ang halos 2 months na hindi ako nagpapagupit. Wala na kasi yong long-time suki kong barbero and the last one na napuntahan ko eh hindi ako satisfied sa gupit na ginawa sa akin. This one, recommended ni Ricky. And it was one good recommendation dahil natuwa naman ako sa ginawa ni kabayan sa buhok ko. In short, one satisfied customer ako kahapon. But that’s not what I’m writing about. Aside from the gupit, something happened kahapon. Yon ang gusto kong i-share sa inyo.

In the short conversation namin ni kabayang barbero (na hindi ko man lang naitanong kung ano ang pangalan), natanong ko sya kung tulad sya ng ibang barbero na boundary system ang laban sa kanilang sponsor. Yong tipong nagbibigay sa sponsor nila ng agreed amount isang buwan at kung anoman ang sumobra, yon ang kita nila.

In his case, hindi raw ganon. Employee talaga sila nong hotel and they are being paid a fixed salary which means lugi sya dahil sa ganong klase ng trabaho, mas maganda ang chance kumita ng malaki kung boundary system. At kahit hindi ko tinatanong, dahil siguro sa frustration ni kabayan, sinabi nyang SR 600 lang ang sweldo nya. Plus 200 daw na food allowance and 200 fixed overtime pay samantalang 12 to 14 hours daw ang trabaho nila everyday. I-total mo man yon, that’s SR 1,000 monthly pay lang – approximately US$ 265 or Php 11,000. Medyo maliit sa isang nag-aabroad lalo na ngayon at mahal na kahit NFA rice.

For a while I struggled for words. Hindi ako makapag-comment kay kabayan. If I say something to commiserate, baka magatungan ko lang kung ano man ang frustration na nararamdaman nya. However, sya na rin ang nagtuloy ng conversation by saying na tatapusin lang nya yong contract at maghahanap sya ng ibang opportunity.

Kagabi, just before na makatulog ako, yong conversation namin ni kabayan ang iniisip ko. It had such an impact on me dahil sa sitwasyon ko. Na-realize ko na yong conversation na yon gave me a different perspective of my situation. A situation na ilang buwan nang naka-store at the back of my mind.

Close friends know kung ano ang nararamdaman ko sa trabaho ko ngayon. I wouldn’t elaborate pero nandon na ako sa point where I have seriously considered making another major decision. Something that, in my younger years, eh madaling gawin. Noon, pag sinabi kong that’s it, yon na yon. Whatever I have to do, I do it right there and then. No hesitations, no considerations.

Pasalamat naman ako dahil kahit ganon ako ka-impulsive noon, wala akong major decisions na pinag-sisihan ko. Nothing that led to some life-altering situations. Pero sabi nga, as we grow older, we should grow wiser. And this time, I think I've learned to control my impulses. Paunti-unti, natutunan ko kung paano yong sinasabing think twice.

Kaya yong problema ko sa trabaho, hinayaan ko lang. Whatever ngitngit na nararamdaman ko, I learned to deal with it. At sabi ko, I’ll just make the decision whenever the right time comes. Meantime, sabi ko sa sarili ko I’ll just let it be. Baka maka-kita ako ng solution or even a single clue kung paano ko ireresolve yong sitwasyon. At yon nga, mukhang yong usapan namin ni kabayan ang isang clue na hindi ko inaasahan, dumating.

I pity kabayan for his misfortune. Obviously, hindi maganda ang napuntahan nyang trabaho. Oo nga at may choice naman tayo pag nag-aaply sa Pinas, but I wouldn’t blame him na kumagat sa ganong klase ng sweldo. He must have his own reasons na hindi natin alam. At wala tayong karapatang kwestiyonin.

Pero hindi sya ang punto ko dito. Ang mga sinabi nya ang gumawa ng impact sa akin. Kaya wala man syang kaalam-alam, pero natulungan niya ako na i-appreciate kung ano ang sitwasyon ko ngayon. He was such an eye-opener for someone like me who has forgotten to appreciate things, good things, that have been coming my way. Things that I've been taking for granted for the longest time.

Hindi na-solve ng conversation naming yon ang problema ko. The fact remains that I still have a problem to face and resolve. But what that conversation did is that it reminded me of something I should have been doing all along. Na dapat pala, I should be looking at the situation from a wider perspective. Mas madaling mag-decide, at mas tama ang decision na mararating mo if you do that.

And that one, I owe to kabayang barbero. I promise I’d give him a bigger tip next time na magpagupit ako sa kanya.

what's goin on

the international front

myanmar cyclone - recent reports put the death toll of this catastrophe at 120,000. ang nakaka-dismaya pa, aid is hampered by political tricks of the government who is so adamant in allowing foreign aid workers inside the country to do their thing. may mga report pa na yong mga bigas na pinamimigay from the few aid workers na naka-pasok na, nire-repack pa ng gobyerno para lagyan ng marka na galing yon sa kanila. nakaka-panlumo. people are dying and yet this government chooses to prioritize their political maneuvering over saving people's lives. i pity and pray for the people of this opressed country. hindi rin ako magtataka kung one day maisipan ng mga taga-roon na gayahin ang people power natin.

china quake - another disaster claiming lives of more than 10,000 people. seeing dead bodies, wailing mothers, lost children and faces grimacing from pain breaks my heart. nakaka-iyak makita yong mga mukhang nakalabas while half of their bodies are trapped under a slab of concrete. i couldn't help but close my eyes and just pray for these poor souls. at sana naman, wag nang tumama sa pinas ang mga ganitong disasters. sana.

justin’s retirement - with just 11 days to roland garros, it came as a shock in the sporting world to have someone who's currently ranked no 1 announce her quitting. for goodness sake, halos 2,000 points ang lamang nya kay sharapova na no 2. i was personally disappointed. i've long been a fan of this diminutive champ. along with roger federer, sila ang mga reason kung bakit nanonood ako ng grandslams. mga genuine talents kasi sila. coz in these days of highly glamorized tennis where media hype creates superstars out of mediocre players, justin is the real deal with her killer forehand and equally lethal backhand. sana naman temporary lang ito and she'll soon come back to give back the tennis circuit some excitement and credibility.

smart car - with a length of just over 8 ft - you can park two of them in a space for one lincoln town car - hindi maiwasan na pagdudahan ang safety nito. however, it grabbed headlines again today after getting high marks on crash tests finally putting those skepticism to rest. hindi naman kasi basta-basta ang gumawa - daimler benz lang naman. with it's sleek design, high fuel efficiency (45 miles per gallon), reasonable price (starts at $11,500) and an assurance that you wouldn't easily get crushed, i'd buy one if i have the money. may isang problema lang ako - sobrang liit nya at hindi kakasya ang isang batalyon na laging kakabit ko pag may lakad. darn!

local scene naman

the meralco debacle - so the philippine government is pointing an accusing finger at the lopez family porke ninakawan daw nila ang mga pilipino with their high rates and inexplicable charges. sabi pa, yong kuryente raw ng mga meralco offices eh sa publiko din naka-charge. with that, the government is asking the filipino people to file charges against meralco. if this isn't stupidity, i don't know what to call it. kung talagang nangulimbat ang meralco sa mga tao, bakit hindi ang gobyerno ang kumastigo? bakit mag-aantay pa sila ng class action suit? besides, bakit ngayon lang sila umaalma? nasaan sila at ano ang ginagawa nila for the last twenty, thirty years na taas ng taas ang singil ng kuryente? natutulog sa pancitan?

however i look at it, maniubra na naman ito ng arroyo government. maraming pwedeng dahilan. isa na ang diversionary tactic - to turn the attention of the masses away from the very many corruption charges being hurled at them. pwede ring naghahanap sila ng isang lucrative milking cow para pondohan ang kung ano mang proyekto nila - whether for the public or for their own interests. o baka naman wala nang pera ang gsis at hindi na makabili si winston garcia ng mga mamahaling paintings. hindi ako pro-meralco. i've known all along that this monster has been unjust to their consumers for the longest time. pero kung ang meralco ay dapat bitayin sa kasalanan nila sa mga pinoy, ang mga nasa gobyerno ay dapat i-firing squad dahil sa walang patid na graft and corruption scandals na naka-kulapol sa kanila. meralco is just one small fry.

umento? nasan? - the arroyo government beamingly announced that the minimum wage of the poor filipino workers has just been increased. yeheyyy... sabi dapat ng mga manggagawa. pero parang awa mo na gloria - 20 pesos??? ipagmamalaki mo na ba yon? do you honestly think your poor juan de la cruz will be ecstatic with that? saan aabot ang twenty pesos na dagdag sahod mo when everything from food to transport fare has increased a thousand fold compared to that salary adjustment? kawawang manggagawa. kawawang pinoy. pero walang awang gobyerno.

the blogging fever

well i had to remove the slideshow i posted here a couple of days ago. nagha-hang daw ang mga pc ng mga visitors, siguro di pa masyadong fine tuned yong feature from blogger admin. pag ayos na saka ko na lang ulit i-post yong ibang slideshows na nagawa ko.

in the meantime, i’d like to welcome a few more adiks to the blogging world. not that i’m the owner of blogger.com or one of their employees but i felt i just had to welcome my dear friends – ega and the very latest, raoul who have put up their own blogs just recently.

yong kay ega medyo matagal na but i think the interest was revived just before the mother’s day celebration. kasi may initial posting na a few months back pero tipong naging busy sya (or kinatamaran for a while? hehehe!) at hinarap lang ang isang mahaba and a very touching article noong midnight of 10th para humabol sa mother’s day at mabati si nanay elvira.

ganon din ang kaso ni raoul who realized he needs to write something about his mom at pinaki nya dito sa dantespeaks ang isang heartfelt tribute nya kay nanay puring just last week. and after a little help, heto at may sarili na rin syang space on the web where we will look out for his postings soon.

long before them and even itong dantespeaks, nauna na si matt sa blogsphere at doon mo naman makikita ang karamihan ng magaganda nyang shots. meron pa syang flicker at sya rin ang nag-author nong site for adiks - yong addicquotes.

you might be wondering what made us catch the blogging fever. ako, i have a few reasons. siguro one of these reasons, if not all, ay pareho din ng reason ni matt, ega and raoul.

first, writing for me is an outlet. sa isang taong madaldal na tulad ko na laging may sasabihin tungkol sa isang bagay, laging may comment sa isang sitwasyon (highly opinionated baga), ito lang ang paraan na milalabas ko yong mga thoughts ko without having to engage you in a long and maybe uninteresting conversation.

medyo egocentric nga lang ang dating ko dito coz i do all the talking and you have no choice but to listen (read on) sa mga idea ko without having the chance of a conversational interaction. posting a comment lang ang manner of retort mo. but at least, nasabi ko naman lahat ng gusto kong sabihin without being interrupted or you walking out on me di ba.

i just write what’s on my mind. para lang masabi yong gusto kong sabihin. no matter how mundane it maybe and even at the risk of me sounding trivial. afterall, I’m not seeking for anybody’s approval. kung ma-appreciate mo yong pinag-sasabi ko, thanks a lot. kung hindi ka agree, then you can always post your violent reaction. though so far wala pa namang ganon so i’m really thankful you’ve been very appreciative.

second, this has become a very good therapy for me. dahil nga nailalabas ko ang mga nasa utak at puso ko, it relieves me in so many ways. lalo na kung galit ako or i feel strongly about something. writing has presented a better alternative kesa ipagbatuhan ko ang mga gamit ko or cp (mahal kaya yon) against the wall.

although i would admit na pag galit ako, i write something then come back to it a few times and edit out the expletives hanggang magmukhang matino at responsible na yong sinulat ko. kasi kung ilalabas ko yong raw material as is, naku, maba-ban ang blog na ito. kaya, much as i want to keep it real, sinasamahan ko rin naman ng sense of responsibility. hindi ko alam kung sino ang nagbabasa nito and i have to think of the kids and a lot of decent people like you who might be looking at what i’m doing.

yon din ang reason ko kung bakit hindi ako nagko-control ng comments dito. coz i believe that’s censorship. eh yan ang hate na hate ko. i believe in self-regulation but not censorship. kaya ganon din ang ini-expect ko sa mga comments dito. unless it’s profane or vulgar, i don’t go meddling with your comments. katwiran ko, we are all mature enough (sounds familiar, orgee?) to censure ourselves.

third, this blog has become my link to my friends, old and new. dahil hindi naman ganon ka-active ang social life ko (dahil wala naman halos dito sa saudi ng ganon), this has become my social playground. at least old friends are updated sa mga nangyayari sa akin. and I get to meet new friends like dennis who e-mails me now and then at si linds na kasama pa si bitoy at buleg pag bumibisita nitong dantespeaks.

so far, this blogging experience has done me some good. and i hope ega and raoul will have the same experience. so please visit their sites too – isama na ninyo yong official site ng mga adik at syempre, ang blog ni matt for some wonderful photography. nasa right panel nitong blog yong mga links under the title 'visit nyo rin to'.

to all of you guys, have a wonderful time and...ohyeah, blog away!

ps: while i'm doing tis posting, i'm watching charice pempengco's stint in oprah... nasa youtube na di ko lang ma-link dito but just go to youtube and see how this girl blew oprah and the studio audience away. proud moment mga kabayan!

to all the moms in the world....